For tumble rhymes in English, this is one of two known sites on the web. The other is hosted by Boris Hasselblatt. For a representative German site, try Jo Proepper's Schuettelreime.
BILINGUAL BAKERY
Gateaux
to go.
QUICK DRAW
Lara packs
a parallax
revolver.
Her lover
stole her
holster.
KOPF RASIEREN UND PRESTO!
Du bist
Buddhist.
CELEBRITY RERUNS
Some do enjoy their fame anew:
George Bush and Cher, to name a few.
A NOSTALGIC ASTRONOMER
My telescope I'd fain retract,
Could naked eyes contain, refract
An image from the beaming glow,
And bend the starlight's gleaming bow.
IN THE NAME OF WHAT?
When chainsaws roar and brambles shake
And nature into shambles break,
Is this done for your sake, or me?
The forest's trees are numberless
But I'm afraid their lumber-ness
Is all the paper makers see.
DIM VIEW OF LUAU
Pa-tooi!
To poi.
MARTIAL EATING
With kung fu, slay
This vile souffle.
More by Ben further down the page!
Ben's address is tamino@wolfhut.org
TO THE CAT
O Long of Claw, should you be rough
you will be met with a rebuff.
THE ACTRESS DEFENDS HER PRIVACY
From dressing room, the prying fan
was driven with a frying pan.
The cannibal was mad to lunch
And so he had a lad to munch.
She baked a noble flan, the fame
of which we fan the flame,
and you must not defame her flans:
such rudeness would inflame her fans.
(with L.C.)
SUMMER IDYLL
Small girls adorned in daisy leis
Drink cambric tea on lazy days.
PARANOIA
Are Mai Tais really Trader Vic's
Or alien invader tricks?
Though math could be a pack of lies,
at least it has no lack of "pi"s.
COMMUTER
Although you'd rather stay in bed
You have to cross the Bay instead.
You'd have an internet commute, poor
wanderer, if you'd compute more.
The flagelants, who savor fault,
leave wounds unbalmed: they favor salt.
TAB EVADERS
Those who don't find paying pleasant
Get out of it by playing peasant.
WHAT FLU IN?
Here's ache for your head and pain for your chest:
You are the food chain for your pest!
AROUND THE WORLD IN WEIGHTY DAZE
For hungry folk they'll stack a pan
Of curry on rice in Pakistan;
And for a Frencher treat, a buff'll
Tell you, "You can't beat a truffle."
While foreign food might stir a fake
Gourmet, I much prefer a steak.
THE FLIGHT OF THE HANDKNIT BALACLAVA
Shall not a skiing hatter mourn
her cap, blown off the Matterhorn?
STONE AGE ROMEO
Neanderthal, that furry caver,
Found it hard to curry favor.
She complained he wouldn't shave
And had a club he shouldn't wave.
He held his offering high (the bear)
Then dragged her with him by the hair.
MIDDLE AGED ROMEO
When management's high-status male
begins to find his mate is stale,
the thought distracts him, as lust may,
of secretaries he must lay.
I know it isn't very nice,
but it's an ordinary vice.
(with L.C.)
LIFE IN THE SUBURBS
He fired his guilt a great barrage
and boldly built a great garage.
We must secure what daddy lacks
and all endure what cadillacs!
(with L.C.)
When Sistine mist would muss the plaster,
Paint was called for, plus the Master:
"Fetch the pots of ceiling paint
And fix that spot of peeling saint!"
(with L.C.)
NATIVITY SCENE
Mary glowed with saintly fire
While Joseph watched, just faintly sire.
DRIED-UP WORMS
Better wait
For wetter bait.
More by Phyllis further down the page!
Phyllis' address is <ottojms@wenet.net>
If thinly sliced, the jerkey's tender
Regardless of the turkey's gender.
The ass cares less for grass he's eating
Than for the lady ass he's greeting.
When someone gets the hated fever
it's always me, the fated heaver.
AD IMAGINEM DEI CREAVIT BANANA SLUG
The gastropod's genus
Came from God's penus.
PET PIG
Once he was a spunky ham
but now he's just a hunk of spam.
Taciturn and crusty, true
Down-easters make a trusty crew.
GODIVA'S RIDE
Shyly she, in flowing locks,
passed leering Tom and lowing flocks.
COMPLIMENT
This morning to the chimes I rose
and clicked the mouse; your rhymes I chose.
CINDERELLA'S OPINION CONCERNING EVOLUTION
Fitness may design a flipper,
But you and I define a slipper.
HAREBRAINED CONCLUSION
It was the Tortoise who ran best.
Does this imply we should ban rest?
INTERVIEW
"We have heard that you're dyslexic."
"That's absurd. I'm not lysdexic.
THE IDEAL GRADUATE STUDENT
All the time she would
Do the things we should.
WHEN ASKED FOR A CHRISTMAS RHYME
Einstein would say "Bonne Noel"
But I'll be plain and un-Nobel.
Astronomers seek bliss and Hubble
Amidst the radio's hiss and blubble.
GIVING THE APPROPRIATE JESTER
For Yule:
Your fool.
That Cottrell! He's an imp with language.
From tumble rhymes I limp with anguish!
"You're wrong!," said a caped retorter,
"I'm Batman, and here's my tape recorder!"
AT ONE KIND OF NIGHT CLUB
Dumb lapper
nude dances
numb dapper
dude lances.
THEY DECONSTRUCT EACH OTHER
Critics joined in holy wedlock
often meet in woely head-lock.
(suggested by Paul Andrews)
I like Jo
Proepper's nutty pose--
Especially the putty nose.
HAVE SOME OF MY TAILGATE CHILI!
Much is to be gained by passing
Up the beans, if pained by gassing.
THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING
In tornado weather, Fate
may treat you as a featherweight.
HUMAN INTEREST BEATS SPECIAL EFFECTS
A simple well-told panic tale
Makes digital Titanic pale.
LEND ME YOUR EAR
Hollyfield won the bitter fight,
Though Tyson had the fitter bite.
MONTREAL POLAR BEAR CLUB
We got an icy water shock. The river's
cold enough to give a rock the shivers.
BEE'S VIEW OF HONEY HARVEST
If you don't leave our hives much larder
It will make our lives much harder.
LONESOME BILINGUAL
Alone and crying in my beer:
Ach! war' mein Liebling nur bei mir.
A WASHED-UP DESERT CAMPAIGN
The guards at poorly shaded forts
Wore nothing but their faded shorts.
ICECREAM (gelato, per favore) AND BATHROOM (gabinetto)
You can visit new towns
If you know these two nouns.
RURAL UNREST
They set the landlord's shed afire:
The roasted chicken fed a shire.
YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU
Miserly and lean, he's grieving
For the stacks of green he's leaving.
"I HAVE NO NEED OF THAT HYPOTHESIS."
We are Skeptics, hailed and vaunted
Mockers of the veiled and haunted!
HAPPY (to Otto)
In the New Year I want you near.
A THONG OF LITTLE VALUE
Baseball buffs are blind to beachers
since their butts they bind to bleachers.
YE OLDE INNE
Here they roast the fearsome bear--
It's served with other beersome fare.
PUPPY IN TRAINING
Just maybe
he'll obey me.
LOSING WEIGHT WITH JENNY CRAIG
Fee diet?
Defy it!
Calories are plain measure
Of dieters' main pleasure.
WOLF SONG
They carol for us
A feral chorus.
ASPIRATIONS
Try to breed a sable lily?
That idea I'd label silly.
But I have tried to fill a stable
With unicorns. They're still a fable.
SICK OF MANUSCRIPTS
Listen to his teary wail:
"Oh no! Another weary tale!"
INJUNCTION
I will not have that birdy stoned--
The little thing's not sturdy-boned!
GET YOUR QUARTERBACK
When he stopped being great and fumbled,
His teammates shared his fate and grumbled.
SOUPER CHEF
A well-read cook bases
His stock on book cases.
O BANKER, HEAR OUR PRAYER
Just for you to lend a bit 'll
Help, if you can bend a little.
IN THE RING
The matador, who's getting bored,
Will be, the fans are betting, gored.
DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE
He tried to steer, mumbling,
"M'fine, it's mere stumbling."
WILD PITCH
A ball thrown bad matters
To concussed mad batters.
SCARED STIFF AT GRAND CANYON
He peered into the chasm space,
And medics had a spasm case.
CROSS-EYED SURGEON
He didn't quite have sight direction
So he missed the right dissection:
Due to misdirected sight
His patients weren't dissected right.
TRAVELS WITH REYNARD
It isn't nice to bind a fox,
So I'm inclined to find a box.
SHAGGY PONY EXPRESS
Those who rode such hurried courses
Had no time for curried horses.
WRINGING CHANGES
To get attention in his Pamper days
A baby may find out that damper pays.
SELF-PORTRAIT
You here observe the tired mumbler
Writing an admired tumbler.
May she keep her breathing sane
Enough to cool her seething brain.
Tumble Rhymes by Leonard Cottrell
The best magazine for poetry on the web is the Monadnock Review. Many of us remember snatches of verse which are close to our hearts. There is a snatch anthology which you may wish to glance at or add to. For tumble rhymes in English, there are two known sites on the web. The other is hosted by Boris Hasselblatt. For rhymes in German, try Jo Proepper's Schuettelreime site. The contemporary rhyming poet who currently most interests me is Richard Wilbur (b.1921). There's an informal not-entirely-serious essay temporarily on hand, in case his poetry is unfamiliar to you. The most interesting contemporary composer, in my judgement, is Thomas Ades. His next opera will have a libretto by James Fenton (b. 1949), a desperado rhymer of deserved renown. Have a look at Fenton's books: Children in Exile and Out of Danger.
